Post-Matriks Life.

The title says it all.

It's been some time since I've actually contributed anything to the blog readers. My plan was initially not to post anything until I ended my first college life.


If you actually read my previous post, I didn't say which institute I did choose. Well, it turns out I went for Matrikulasi. So, since it's already been 3 days after ending it, I will go according to plan. Yup, I will post about what happened during this one whole year, my experience in Selangor Matriculation College.

(Note : Be warned that this is a very long post, I'm not even exaggerating. It'll cover the whole year, what'd you expect? If you're not the kind who likes to read life stories, my advice would be to go to YouTube and watch anything far more entertaining. Again, you've been warned.)


So, my life has been revolving around friends, problems, families and stuffs that I love and hate. In my quest in trying to become better in both as a student and as a slave to the Almighty, the roots of my origin were of course, needed to be analyzed once more. Pondering upon the life I used to have in SAMBEST and what it had taught me (all those 5 years, 5 troublesome years), I began to reflect once more on to the life ahead. Is Matriculation even worth going? Will it teach me things that are different than what I've already learnt? Will I gain a completely new experience, not just in studies, but life lessons as well?



I was skeptical, really really skeptical at first. I first thought that nothing can compare to the experience of being kicked on the head by a teacher, or being tortured on a field where garbage trucks used to come and go, or maybe training-for-marching kind of torture where I don't think it's even necessary to say it here. I once thought that having experienced all these, my maturity level is no need to be spoken of, having learnt the hard way by all the lessons my previous school had offered. I once thought that people would've never understand my way of thinking, due to not experiencing any of the circumstances I had lived with. I once thought, they'll have their room to learn more before disposing of the stereotype behavior I expected to see once I enrolled there.






How wrong I was.



Well, I'm not wrong in everything, but indeed, staying at that place proves a lot to me that I've got much more to learn, much more to experience, and finally, be better by seeing the errors of my ways and to change for the better. One whole year of experience, had taught me a lot, even if it's just for a short time.


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I guess I should start from when I first enrolled there. With only a few friends from SAMBEST (Hikmah, Asep, Faiz Meow, Ridzuan and Anis Shahirah), I started my journey with a heavy heart. You know, that feeling where you have to start all over again? Be it in terms of making new friends, struggling to familiarize yourself with your new surroundings, etc. Sometimes I just wish I ended up at the Matriks in Perak, cause my schoolmates are like, 20+ of them there. Then again, I'm not completely alone here, and with several others who had knew me for the past five years, I'm confident I'll get along pretty well like usual.


Although, God knows the best for me. I'm not only with them, as I met my old primary schoolmates here too, my longtime best friends Syed Fathuridhwan and Naim Irfan. They'll help me with my life later on and they are proven to be one of the greatest aspects in my life and the best companions anyone can ever hope for. Moving on, as we met each other, we realized we are all in different lectures, different classrooms. I was in Modul 1 (all-rounded science) at that time, and I started to make friends from all over Malaysia. It was fun, but sadly, it was short-lived as I decided to make a leap to Modul 3 ( Pure Science with Computer) in order to be able to take the Computer Science subject while retaining Biology.


And so, I made my move to a Modul 3 class. The class was unique as there was only one boy at that time, with a whole lot of girls, nearly 20+ of them. I can't believe I was transferred to a class like that, it's wrong on so many levels. Well, for me, at least. I transferred there with this foreign Arabic-Chinese dude who would later on become my classmate in my next class. Did I say 'next class'? Yeap. That was not my final transfer. Kinda sad cause I was already friends with the boy, named Amsyar and a few girls from his class as well.


Apparently the matriculation system has to improvise and rearrange all the classes in my lecture at that time, cause let's face it, it's quite unstable. Then again, it's still not fair for Amsyar as he remained in his class as me and the foreign dude went to a new class together. Although, Amsyar didn't seem to mind as he goes on proving to everyone that he's a strong-willed person and managed to end Matriks as a solo guy in his class. He's pretty close to me, I could rely on him on almost everything, he was a great companion, and to the very end, he had always earned my respect.


Moving on, I was thrown into a new class, not knowing anyone else in there except the foreign dude who was already my friend from the start. Together, we made new friends again, from all over Malaysia, and this time around, there were all a friendly bunch. This time, it's the other way around as we are now in a class containing the most guys, a total of 8 of them for the whole first semester. Due to the stable amount of us, we managed to pull off many 'illegal' projects together, such as going to the upper floors of the mosque to finish our projects in the wee hours of morning and so on. I won't lie, they're the best and they made the class lively and funny. Summarizing the first semester, I could say that I found out what it felt like to be betrayed beyond measures by your own friend, and knowing the exact way on how to cope up with it. In other words, I was less knowledgeable in these things, I couldn't survive even a semester without people helping me.


Then again, I didn't really help myself too as I didn't even score a good pointer for my first sem. I'm not sure if I feel truly devastated like what I used to feel for my SPM results, then again, to say I'm satisfied, the feelings are not really that far from it as I know this time around, I truly got what I deserved. I didn't really use my full potential to study, I was having fun without realizing what I had promised to myself and I knew I deserved this. Everything happens for a reason, and for that, I gathered every ounce of my will to resume the second and final semester.


It's true that SPM had taught me on how to cope up with the devil inside, and to also learn something from it, the hardships in life will always come once in a while, and you'll have to be ready for it. I learnt a lot from it, but apparently, there'll be a bigger problem than that later. In my first semester, I've been given responsibilities like, being the director for a video project for instance. However, that's a starting point to an even more bigger responsibility to myself, and also to the friends that I made here. I once thought that all my problems will end in my first semester and I wanted to open a new chapter and forget all the bad things that had happened, then again, some of it stayed and affected me in the final semester. Once again, I tried to cope up and handle everything properly while staying sensible.


My old primary school held a reunion during our first semester holidays, and from meeting my old primary friends again, I learnt that irreplaceable friends will always prove their worth to you and they'll always be there to support your back. It was during that time that I learnt to differentiate what I wrongly did in my first semester, and I swore to myself that I would not repeat it again.


I would be lying if I say that my second semester was all about fun and happiness without any conflicts. This is where it actually gets rough.


My patience was tested with a lecturer who gave orders I could not even understand, yes, I hated her, but still, The hatred couldn't go that far since I still have my respect for the lecturers. It's safe to say that she was just a veteran lecturer who wanted her students to score well in every way, not by neglecting one thing to pursue other things. Life challenged me once more by giving occasional quarrels between my own group, a lot of misunderstandings, and the lost of a friend. 


Through all this, a few happiness contradicts the worst parts of living here, like getting the same good score together with my old primary mates for MUET, our lecture achievement in winning the second place for the Nasyid competition, and numerous other forms of achievements done by our lecture. People could easily assume we had the closest bond between our lecture mates, compared to the other lectures. I'm really grateful to have people who were willing to help me in anything. And also have the same way of thinking.

But that's just in the early phases of the final semester.

Apparently, I began to feel left out in my own class, grew to depend much more on my own lecture mates, thus becoming a bit distant from my own class. I knew I had to something about it, so when my class held a trip to one of my classmate's home, I wanted to set things right and find out the joys of being with them again. It was an experience to be remembered, the guys were all in the same house playing carrom, guitars and making use of all the things in there, and when the time came for us to swim in the river, it was indeed a really nice moment, with the cost of my friend's spectacles lost in the raging river, sadly. We held a bbq at that night. I kinda felt all warm and fuzzy inside, as this was also my first time handling a bbq, together with my classmates. Overall, it was well-worth it.

The little things that had happened after that was a proof that those are actually that brought the joy and happiness in a life where everything was packed and fast. With our time together coming to an end, I knew I'll miss them even more when we leave this place.  

All those numerous hangouts together, be it with the lecture mates or my own classmates, it felt worthwhile. Everything was enough to be held as a memory. I wish it could last longer, and I hoped that after this we were still on good terms and will remember every single one of what we've done together.


Alas, that's not the case. Things didn't go our way once in a while. 


Apparently I didn't know that I had done so many bad things and shown my bad side to my friends when I was living with them. Some of them were holding the feelings in for a long time, waiting for the right moment to strike. I was caught red-handed for a matter not really that worth to be spoken of, but it had a major impact to me nevertheless. For so long, I've thought about it and I've tried to reach out to them, to finally reconcile our friendships. 


That, did not happen as well.



So yeah, I was forced to end my life at Matriks on a terrible note. Kinda sad when I think about it. But I truly learnt the hard way. Some things in life are just, not meant to be. It's not just your efforts that count, it's the other party's involvement in it too. By letting fate decide it, you can either take it as a blessing, or take it as a lesson. Either way, you'll grow up, and you'll realize what you've done wrong, and if people still wanted you to be a part of their lives, let them. And be sure to take care of their feelings too.

Trust me, I've learnt the hard way.


Then again, every single good memories with my friends there, well I'm gonna keep them. There are a few of them that you've never met, and you can learn something from them. Everyone's from a different background. You can't really judge people immediately.



Well, that brings us to the end of this life story.


Today marks the beginning of a new session of the Matriks students, the session of 14/15. I'll wish them all the best too, and depending on what you did there, you're gonna have some new experiences and you'll learn how to deal with life even more properly.


As for the ones who're reading this, I can't thank you guys enough for being able to bear with me until the end of this thing. Your supports and feedback are much appreciated. As for ex-Kolej Matrikulasi Selangorians, I'm proud to have known all of you. And I can't thank you guys enough for all you've done with my life.


That alone, makes me happy, and you guys had put me on the line of life-changing perspective once more.




END.

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